The hosts announce that John Salwin is taking an indefinite hiatus from the show to focus on professional projects and personal matters. The episode features a mock press conference regarding his departure and a series of final riffs on various topics before his exit.

Tod discusses his upcoming two-week gap between jobs and the anxiety of having too much free time. Marc and John suggest various ways to spend the time, ranging from spontaneous trips to Portland and New Orleans to a potential group trip to Las Vegas.

The hosts engage in an extended riff on the phrase 'knowing the score,' debating whether it refers to social intuition, blackmail, or a 'Tao-like' philosophy. The conversation devolves into stories about grifting rich lawyers at the Viceroy hotel, uncomfortable white person movies, and the distinction between 'the score' and 'the juice.'

The hosts discuss their new sponsor, a Baptist church in Ohio, and riff on a bizarre discovery of vegetable oil behind their studio. The bulk of the episode is spent brainstorming absurd themes for a March Madness-style bracket contest based on listener suggestions.

John and Marc explain the Eisenhower Interstate System, vampires take cabs in New York City and more.